Watch at your own risk. Kevin Swan has ALS and shared a glimpse into a typical morning with this horrific, disgusting disease.

It wasn’t until I met Kenneth that I felt guilty about my diagnosis. I’ve lived a good life and made a lot of fun memories and friends along the way, so cutting it short was ok. Not preferable, but acceptable as a last case scenario. Death is unavoidable, everyone knows that, and with all the amazing things I’ve been blessed with it was a good run while it lasted. “Not here for a long time, I’m here for a good time” according to King George, right? Kenneth came along and ruined all that.

This video shows about a million reasons why my diagnosis makes me feel guilty. I’m not one to waste time debating the laws of what is and isn’t fair in life, and believe me when I tell you Kenneth knows more about ALS than anyone ever should, so the fairness factor isn’t involved. But how does this even make sense? This is undeniably the future of our marriage and as a full of life, smart mouthed, brand spank’n new 30 year old wife that just doesn’t make sense.

So now what? We debate end of life options? We weigh the pros and cons of quality of life vs quantity of years? We discuss physician assisted suicide vs death by natural causes i.e. respiratory related issues that lead to death? Because what four month old marriage prepares for those types of decisions? Once again, why does that even make sense?

My hope and prayer is that these discussions, decisions, and death is far, far away from today. All of this is for my husbands sake, for the sake of our marriage, and for the sake of what’s in our future. My God is bigger than ALS, and that is my solstice through all of this.

Thank you for loving us through ALS, because love is the only thing that makes sense.