8.31.17 Hello, is it me you’re looking for?

Have you ever had that feeling that everything you hear indirectly applies directly to you? Like you’re the kid in the back of the classroom of life and the teacher calls on you repeatedly? Or you catch the end of a conversation on the radio and you’re not sure why but in your heart you knew it’s exactly what you needed to hear? 

No? Just me? Ok, cool. 

This keeps happening to me. Just as soon as I convince myself that I’m being paranoid I get a sprinkle, or a song comes on, or someone sends me a message/pic/comment that brings that feeling back to the surface. It’s hard to explain, not really a guilty conscience feeling, more of a whisper of encouragement, a loving nudge from God that I need to pay attention. 
There is no greater feeling than having gentle reminders that the creator of the heavens and the earth prepping is your heart, mind and soul for what He has crafted for your future. These changes and the doors that are opening because of the changes aren’t what I would have ever imagined for my life, my marriage, or my future. Thankfully Gods plans are far greater than we could have ever dreamed. What an awesome Father we serve. 

This was one of the first sprinkles that caught my heart strings. Why do I let opinions/situations/worries weigh me down? Why do we get so caught up in expectations set by others?

You know who those people are in your life, the ones you would deter your friends away from if the tables were turned. The people who project their expectations and beliefs on you beyond your better judgement or desire, yet they insist on being forceful. 

“Traditions are often time-tested best practices for doing something. But remember that today’s conservative ideas were once controversial, cutting-edge, and innovative.” – The daily stoic, Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

I think we can all agree that Kenneth and I are far from traditional, and together we embrace the changes and make this life ours. Together we make our marriage work, we acomplish tasks as a team, and we navigate through the new challenges of this disease. I am thankful each day for his servant heart for everyone around him and for our little life together. 

So our current plan of attack is learning to be more purposeful with our time together. Part of that plan is learning to say yes and no to plans, invitations, and celebrations – together. 

Will this event bring joy to our relationship? Will this invitation add avoidable stress on me physically and Kenneth emotionally as my caregiver? Is there a better opportunity to celebrate on a more personal level that involves less energy required from being in a crowd?

“Don’t be the person who says yes with their mouth but no with their actions.” – The daily stoic, Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

My heart says yes to everything, double booking days, not giving time for adequate rest. I do not prefer to sit still, to miss things, but the recovery for both of us is getting longer and harder to avoid. Thankfully God found me a husband  that I can laugh with, consult with on decisions, and get to travel and experience and celebrate together. 

“There is more humor than hate to be found in just about every situation. And at least humor is productive—making things less heavy, not more so.” – The daily stoic, Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s