My entire 30 years on this planet have been dictated by some other agenda: sports, school, work, etc. so this last month has been completely foreign to me. Doesn’t get done today? There’s always tomorrow! Sleep until I wake up? Sure! No pants party for 3 days straight? The cat doesn’t mind!

I’m in unfamiliar territory and so far I haven’t figured out what’s up or down. I spent most of November putting off everything I could until after Thanksgiving, and when Thanksgiving came and went I found myself up a creek without a paddle. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thoroughly enjoying my first month of “sabbatical” from expectations and adulting – greatly due to Netflix – and I’m fully aware of opportunities to pile it all back on. But why would God open this door if I was meant to continue down the same road?

“If we’re Stoic, there is one thing we can be sure of: whatever happens, we’re going to be OK.” – The Daily Stoic, Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman

It’s all going to be just fine, repeat after me: it’s all going to be just fine. Change is good and something I’ve always been relatively open to, so why is this transition tripping me up so bad? Is it because I have no clue what I’m doing? Is that even really a new development in this sitcom I call real life? Is it because there’s no one holding me directly accountable except for myself? Who in their right mind would put me in charge? And the list goes on, and on, and on. Here is yesterday’s daily stoic reading:

DON’T MIND ME, I’M ONLY DYING SLOW

“Let each thing you would do, say or intend be like that of a dying person.” – MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS , 2.11.1

Have you ever heard some ask: “What would you do if you found out tomorrow that you had cancer?” The question is designed to make you consider how different life might be if you were suddenly given just a few months or weeks to live. There’s nothing like a terminal illness to wake people up. But here’s the thing: you already have a terminal diagnosis. We all do! As the writer Edmund Wilson put it, “Death is one prophecy that never fails.” Every person is born with a death sentence. Each second that passes by is one you’ll never get back. Once you realize this, it will have a profound impact on what you do, say, and think. Don’t let another day tick away in ignorance of the reality that you’re a dying person. We all are.

Can today be the day we stop pretending otherwise?

My favorite part: “There’s nothing like a terminal illness to wake people up.”

Hi Pot, meet Kettle.