Y’all I’m going to be completely, 100% honest and raw with you right now so fair warning: I am in an extremely painful place. It’s not physical pain, that can be erased with medicine. It’s not emotional pain, that can be erased with tequila. This is a mental pain like I have never experienced. It’s all consuming, it’s physically debilitating, it’s emotionally exhausting, and it has taken over my entire person. This is what I would consider my version of depression and it is rough.
I’ve never been scared of much, no real physical fears just a strong dislike for birds, but I find myself increasingly scared of the “What if” monster. What if I fall in the shower? What if I have a wreck and they trach me in efforts to save me when I have specifically requested to not take that course of action? What if a chicken gets in the house? Side note: I’m fully aware that not all of my “What if” fears are rational.
I would classify myself as a non-worrier, mainly because I’ve been surrounded in every season of life by worriers who worry so much about everything that I’m free to run a muck worry free. This is where the “What if” monster has the upper hand, because I’m in unfamiliar territory and it’s running the show. Not sure if you know this about me, but I really, really, really like to be in control.
Bottom line: I’m not feeling so SunnyStrong these days, it’s awkward, it’s difficult, and it’s absolutely devastating.
I felt this uneasiness yesterday, and because of it’s heavy hold on me I had a very hard time getting going. Of course I was excited, the weather tried to interfere but couldn’t dim this sunshine, and I was trudging through the mud, overslept my alarm, and could not get out the door. But it was Game Day and I was having lunch with my Mama, so this body was getting out the door if Phil himself had to drag me.
I’ve learned that if I jump, the rest will figure itself out, so uneasy or not, I was getting to the game. Of course the night was perfect, Jaci didn’t let me sing and that’s ok. We raised money and awareness for ALS, talked about being purposeful and engaged with the world around you, and got some cute pics with cute young coaches and their sweet players. Yesterday will go down as a good day in the not so good world of a life with ALS, and for that I am forever grateful for these wonderful friends.
Announcing the starting lineups for both teams:
Pre game pics with the home team:
Post game pic with both teams:
ALS “Fun Facts” that were posted:
My favorite cheerleader:
Over $500 was raised for SunnyStrong which further fuels our need to fight this battle against ALS. I knew God had a plan for us when the door to stop working opened in November. God knew if he revealed his plan too soon I’d start working on it rather than focusing on rest. I have no doubt that we’re going to move mountains in 2018. ALS may be taking my strength, but God gave me 90 days off to get prepared physically for what he’s going to do through SunnyStrong strategically – Question is: are you ready for this?
PS. these shirts will be in the SunnyStrong Store soon!